Yes, You Can!

by Michael Selman

I've recently been burdened with the burning question of what motivates me to succeed in the things I attempt, both running, and otherwise. After some deep soul searching, I came up with two main motivators. I am motivated by people who say I can. And I am motivated by people who say I can't.

Each drives me to succeed in different ways, but they are both effective. I find it rather interesting that two completely opposite angles can yield the same result. Having come to this realization of what motivates me, I spent a fair bit of time wondering which is the greater of the two motivators for me. Last Saturday morning, I got my answer.

"You're going to do it. I know you are."

These were the last words that Harriet said to me that morning before I headed down to the river for my 19 mile run. What a positive statement, the kind she always gives, but it still felt good to hear. I tied my running shoes securely. On the left one, with waterproof marker, I have scrolled the single letter "K". On the right one, the single letter "I". It's my positive affirmation that these are the shoes I will be wearing when I run the Kiawah Island Marathon, now only seven weeks away. It is a further positive affirmation that I will be wearing then across the finish line on race day. I grabbed my Camelbak, my sportsdrink, and an assortment of candy flavored supplements, which hadn't even been invented yet when I first started running close to 20 years ago. Today, they're all things a runner shouldn't live without.

"The River." In Atlanta, if you are a runner, you probably know what people are talking about when they say it. Just like all the great ones, like Michael, The Babe, Tiger, Mark and Sammy, this kind of greatness doesn't even need a first and last name. "The River" will suffice. But for those not local to Atlanta, it's the Chattahoochee River, a runner's paradise, as long as you don't mind mostly flat terrain. And to tell you the truth, that's the main reason I'm doing my long runs there. The marathon I'm running is flat, so I figure I might as well get used to using the same muscles on my long runs I'll use for the race.

During the heat of the summer, everyone gets to the river early, and the limited parking spaces are filled by 7 AM. There are trails, and there are running lanes on the side of the road. You can run forever, and the whole time, never lose contact with other runners. This time of year, when it's not so hot, the crowds are spread out over the course of the day, so you can usually find a place to park any time.

I got there about 8:30, pretty late in the day for me to be starting a long run. The last time I ran a training run this long, I was already finished by 8:30. I strapped on my Camelbak, the first time I ever used one, but definitely not the last. Then I gently stretched, and was off, with the words singing in my ears. "You're going to do it, I know you are." It had been said so confidently. She knew even better than I.

We all hear that we can't do something so often in our lives that it's easy to give in to believing it. By the time we're five years old, we've already been told no, or you can't do that, thousands upon thousands of times. It is so much more of a pleasant feeling to be motivated to prove somebody right than you prove the doubter wrong. But both are effective, in their own way. And if we're told "You can't" sometimes, it's a matter of survival to prove you can. How many of us have completed a marathon, motivated by people telling us "You could never do that."

I had a lot of issues to deal with on that morning's run. There are things that had come up during the week that have nothing to do with running, but had a need to be dealt with. I spent the first hour of my run working through those issues, and strategizing how I'm going to constructively deal with them. In short, during that first hour, I made some decisions that are going to change some lives, including my own, but it was the right thing to do. I'm going to set guidelines with a long list of can's. Before the run, the list might have all started with Cant's.

The second hour, and really, for the rest of the run, I thought about Harriet, and her positive support of this run, and I thought about the members of the running groups I subscribe to. Though I don't post too much any more to most of them, members of these grous are often with me during a run, in spirit, saying "You CAN do it."

About ten months ago, I started my own eGroup, and today, it has over 200 members. I also take them with me on my runs. Within this group, there are many incredible people, and even more incredible stories, all starting with "I can do it, you can do it." This group is so much a part of my life now, that, like running, and like writing, it has become part of who I am.

And Harriet, my princess, a special thank you to you. I remember the day I told you I had this idea for The Roads Scholar eGroup. I had already set up the group two months before, but was afraid to take the chance. So I remember the night I told you I was thinking about inviting people to join it. I didn't think anyone would come to the party. After your answer, I made the group live the next day.

You said, "It's a wonderful idea. You definitely should do it." And I did. Thank you for always being positive. Thank you for always saying "You can" instead of "You can't".

Today, I know for sure, that I am much more motivated by people saying I can do it, than from people who say I can't. I just can't believe it took me the better part of a lifetime and a week to figure it out.

10/21/2000
19.5 miles
3 hours, 13 minutes, 6 seconds.

Yes, I can. And so can you.

Michael Selman is a freelance writer living in Atlanta GA. His passions are running, and writing about running, and his goal is to capture the thoughts, as well as the imagination of the common runner. His thoughts have been published in many of the top running magazines, including Runners World Footnotes and Marathon & Beyond. His column Thoughts of a Roads Scholar is well known throughout the running community.

FIND PRODUCTS:

Yes, You Can!

© 2008 Ideal Fitness, Inc.